Whichever blog I read, every blog has atleast one post about their school life, how much fun it was, how much they enjoyed, etc. I feel sad whenever I see those posts, as I could not enjoy my school days like that.
Till I was in 7th Standard, I enjoyed my schooling very much. Lots of friends and all the students’ financial status were in the same level. Hence, there was no discrimination. I used to have gala time with them. But that school was not so good in education compared to other educational institution. It didn’t have good name. So my uncle who worked in a famous school as Teacher at Bangalore asked my dad to join me in the same school. I was not at all happy to join that school. But since I can’t argue, I joined the school.
Since, that school was well know school, only high profile family children’s had joined the school. Everyone were nicely dressed with hi fi English. But I was shabbily dressed with no knowledge of English. Whenever someone tried to speak to me in English, I used to stammer to answer them. I didn’t have proper clothes to wear. We were terribly bad in financial that time and hence I didn’t have any good clothing. I always wear sweater to school, so that no one should notice my dress. Even in summer I used to wear sweater, though I used to sweat like hell and all my classmates used to laugh at me, but still I wear it. I was feeling very awkward in that school. No one was interested to talk to me. I studied there from 8th to 10the Standard and I didn’t have a single friend from that school. I didn’t spoke to single boy in that school and I always felt lonely. I used to have lunch alone always, as no one wanted to sit with me for lunch. I was made to sit always in the last bench. I don’t know how much I have cried. There was no fun in that school. I always used to question myself that is it my mistake to born in this family, is it my mistake that my mom was mentally challenged and hence she didn’t knew how to take care of me, is it my problem that I was made to join some school, who taught English subject in kannada, etc., etc.,
But I didn’t have any answer for this. But life goes on and so my school days also went on like this. I always used to feel bad to go to school. I always prayed that my school should end fast so that I need not be alone and come back home. But one thing was sure that I wanted to challenge these people and wanted to tell them aloud that one day I will be in good position, but I didn’t tell that.
Once the school ended, I was so happy about that. Then I joined the vocational course, wherein I enjoyed everything, what I missed in the school. But whatever it is, I just lost the precious moments of my school days, which I never get.
I don’t know why, I am feeling terribly sad today and I am not able to control my tears, while writing this post about the school days.. All those days are just running in front of me and I am just not able to control my emotions. There are so many things which I wanted to write, but I am just out of words.