Since, I have started blogging; I have been talking about my mom. How was she, what had happened to her and what all the struggle she has to face and everything. But I think I never spoke about my dad anywhere. A person should have both the parents with him to give meaning to his life.
To tell the truth, till I was separated from my mom, which happened when I completed my 10th, I was very attached to my dad. I was not able to stay for long without my dad. I never used to have my dinner without him. Whatever the time he comes, I used to wait for him and then we both used to have the dinner together. I remember one incident. Till 7th we stayed in a house where there was no electricity. I used to study in candles or lamps. Then we shifted other house which had electricity and I just cant express how much I was happy to go to that house with electricity. That house also was very small with just a small hall and kitchen and a very small bathroom. I think we used to pay a rent of 400rs. Also, we used to stay in colony where multiple houses used to share the same bathroom. I think you must have got the idea where I used to stay. So the owner used to stay there itself. One evening they did some cementing in the entry itself and the cementing had not yet healed properly. So if anyone by mistake steps on that, they will fell into the pit below that. I was just so much scared about that, I just stayed awake till 11.30 in the night and just sat outside beside that cementing, so that I can inform my dad about that and he will be careful about this. I was very fond of him. I used to share each and everything with him. Once he is back home, I used to narrate whole day school story along with long complaints about mom yelling at me for something. I just was not able to stay apart from him.
I used to feel very bad, during summer vacation, wherein myself and my mom, used to visit our uncles and stay there for some time. My mom used to pressure me to accompany her and since she was under medication, I have to accompany her for taking care of her health. So initially I used to go there happily, But after 2-3 days, I used to feel very bad and used to feel very lonely. I don’t know, whether it is called telepathy or something, whenever I used to feel like that, on that same day evening my dad used to come there to see us. Immediately, I used to cry and tell my mom that we will leave now. I don’t want to stay without dad and immediately pack everything and just leave from there. My uncles used to get pissed off about this especially my granny (mom’s mom) as she was very fond of me and she used to always scold my dad that why did u came here, see looking at you, she wants to go. Granny used to force me in many ways, but I never used to budge for anything and immediately I used to leave that place. I was totally too much attached to him. He was also very much attached to me. He never believed in disciplined the child and he just believed that the child can be disciplined only by the love and care. He never punished me for anything. He was always encouraged me to do anything. He always tried to give me best, but somehow he was not able to do that because of the constraint in money. But I was happy about everything with him. He was the only world for me.
I remember, when I got matured (u girls know what I am talking), my mom was thinking that I am not suppose to play with boys, as she was not so educated and she had in mind that the society is not good and girls have to be very careful. She was always used to scold me that I play with boys. I used to be always playing with boys. I used to play only the games where boys used to play. Whenever my mom used to scold me, I used to go to my dad and tell him that mom is scolding for this. He immediately used to scold my mom and just told me ”Putta, just don’t listen to anyone, just do the things whichever you feel right and which gives you happiness”. That was my dad.. I just loved him more and more after that.
But I don’t know where this bonding just went off just like that. I am still not able to find out what happened to our relationship. I am not telling that we are not attached. We are still more attached to each other but in somewhere that feeling just went off because I had never ever imagined that I will be ever leaving my mom and dad so early. I seriously felt bad when my uncle told that I need to stay with my aunty as there is no one to take care of my uncle who is bedridden. I was just expecting my dad that he will definitely oppose for that and whatever the situation he will take me home. But I was shocked that he did not oppose and just convinced me to stay with them. I know the only purpose for him was atleast I can get good food and shelter there. I also know that may be if I would have been there, I would have not reached this level where I am now. But at the same time, I lost the opportunity of staying with my parents. Who will give back those moments?
Anyway, as time went on, I forgot all those things about my father. I remained with him like before. But one thing I am just happy and just hats off to him that, till end he took care of my mom very well. I think, no one would ever do that. He used to cook for her, wash her cloths, get her whatever she wants, get her medicine on time, everything. I think my mom is very lucky to get a husband like him. I always feel sorry about him that he was never lucky to enjoy life. He had always some or the other problem with him. He was just running always with the life. Even now, he works for a hotel and stays alone. Every Wednesday, he gets off and comes down to Bangalore to meet my sister and other relatives. He cooks for himself and stays all alone. I feel very sorry for him. I and PK have told him many times, to come down and settle down with us, but he is not interested. He says that until he has got strength to do the work, he will do.
Almost every day he calls me and talks to me and tells each and every thing happening with our family. He shares everything with me. I feel happy for that. During our marriage, he was very disappointed about my decision, because he never thought that I will take my own decision about marriage. But still he accepted my decision as I told him that PK is my happiness. But now he is totally happy about my decision and he just love PK like anything. Both PK and my dad bonds very well. Every alternate day my dad speaks to PK and just share everything with him as how he shares with me. I am just so happy about this bonding. He has visited us in Mumbai twice and we made sure that he has a fabulous time here.
I just missed him a lot when I left Bangalore. Even now, when I am writing this post, I am not able to control my emotion. I think he is the best dad I can get.
“Anna, I know you did your best for me and I also know that whatever you have done for me, it is for my good and I whole heartedly accept that. If knowingly or unknowingly, I have done anything that would have hurted you, I am extremely sorry. I just wanted to tell you I love you a lot and just miss you very much”